“Feelings are like blankets, covering you up so you can’t see clearly, or like mazes you can too easily get lost inside.”

Corey Ann Haydu, OCD Love Story

Loved One with OCD

Do You Worry a Loved One Suffers from OCD? 

You may feel:

  • Frustrated

  • Angry

  • Sad

  • Hopeless

  • All of the above

Just as with any other mental or physical condition, when your love suffers, you suffer too. It’s hard to support both your loved one and yourself. 

Talking to a professional who has expertise with both OCD and relationship counseling can help you navigate this complicated situation. 

Common Responses from Loved Ones

When faced with a loved one’s compulsions, many people find themselves responding in some or all these ways:

  • Performing a compulsion for the OCD suffer, e.g. “I’ll check the door for you”

  • Following the rules of OCD, e.g. “I’ll change my clothing when I come in the house to prevent germs” or “I’ll wash my hands over and over as well”

  • Reassuring their loved one, e.g. that they are clean or that the door is locked 

  • Expressing anger toward your loved one over their compulsions

  • Trying to exercising control over your loved one to stop the compulsions

  • Using logic to convince them to stop their compulsions

Though all of these responses are understandable, none of them will work to ease your loved one’s suffering or your own. In fact, they may make the OCD worse.

How Can You Know If a Loved One Has OCD?

Qualified therapists like me can diagnose OCD. But you can also suggest that your loved one try these tools for self assessment:

Can OCD Be Treated?

Yes, Exposure and Response Prevention therapy (ERP) can treat OCD very effectively. This helps the OCD sufferer with OCD, but not the couple with problematic patterns. 

What Resources Can Help?

It is vital to get support for yourself from people who understand OCD. People who have a loved one suffering from OCD can find it helpful to talk with like-minded individuals who have similar challenges and to check out podcasts, videos, and books. 

International OCD Foundation provides a list of apps that will connect you with online support communities, as well as videos, audio recordings, and written materials. 

And always, talking with a professional who has expertise in OCD and relationship counseling can help you navigate loving someone who suffers with OCD.